I wish I could punch you in the face.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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