You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize