Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
