Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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