dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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