I'm going to jail i love you
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
