Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
