ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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