I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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