everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
