i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
