I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
