don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize