Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
