The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
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I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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