I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
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You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
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I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My feet surprised me
Someone signed my nipple.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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