If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
