I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
