God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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