after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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