I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
