Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
