So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
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Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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