You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
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On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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