i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
