And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
as a side note pls kill me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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