big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
