forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
