I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Did I show you my penis last night?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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