dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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