Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
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So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
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Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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