he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
