uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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