I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
