Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
