If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize