Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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