is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
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I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize