if you like me you must not know who I am
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
