...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
