So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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