why didn't you poke me back
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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