ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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