I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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