Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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