You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
