It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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