someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize