perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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