u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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