is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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