I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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