she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
