i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
