If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
