I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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