I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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