Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
