so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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